I don’t know if this is going well or not. I thought Sara would be more fussy and grabbier at my boobs, but she’s pretty good unless she’s tired, and then she starts peeking into my shirt and trying to pull it down. But I got her down for a nap without boobies for the first time ever today. I felt like it was a huge triumph. We got her down to sleep last night and the night before with no boobies, but she woke up in the middle of the night both nights. At least she only woke up once, and not the 3 or 4 times she had been waking up lately. Last night was pretty bad though.
Sara woke up around 2:30, and I tried shushing her and patting her back and putting my face close to hers, and even letting her grab my hair, which is really painful and I don’t normally let her get away with, but nothing was working for more than a few minutes. She finally starting to really wail and I asked Akinori to pick her up and rock her. My boobs were still so painful I couldn’t hold her close to me. He tried but she was too wiggly and upset. He said we should just ignore her and let her cry it out. He was very good at it, I was not. I felt SOOOO guilty knowing that I had the power to put her right back to sleep and I wasn’t using it. I am glad though that we made the “official” decision to stop BFing or I would have just broken down and given her some, no matter how painful. She really is a good baby though and even when she’s having a tantrum, it’s not non-stopping crying for hours or even minutes on end. She’ll give a few good screams, and then she’ll be quite for another minute or so, then some more screams, then another few minutes of quiet. It’s kind of misleading really. You never know if she’s calmed down, or if she’s just resting for the next round. Anyway, during one of the quiet times I heard her stomach growl. (Akinori was also against trying to give her a bottle because he’s afraid that that will become her new habit in the middle of the night.) So I woke him up and got him to make her a bottle, and she drank it and fell right back asleep. Ahh, peace is restored.
This morning I went for another “massage” at the Mommy’s Room, and it actually didn’t hurt nearly as much as I thought it would and I feel so much better. My boobs are no longer rocks anymore, thank goodness! That was soooooo painful, all the time. It was really hard to get a good night’s sleep like that. Stop reading if you get grossed out easily! There was all kinds of milk crumbs coming out too. So gross. She explained though that my nipples had a lot of sores on them, and continuing to breasteed would be putting myself at further risk for infection because of the germs that could get in from Sara’s mouth. So even if my breasts swell and are sore they are far less likely to get infected. She also said that it looked like the worst had past, and that it should be downhill from here. That was honestly the best news I have heard all week!
Not much else going on. After finishing at Mommy’s Room I stopped by Yamada Denki because they have a book section there and I picked up a 家計簿 – household account keeping book. I really feel like I need to start keeping a closer eye on where we’re spending our money. I have big goals for saving, and I want to reach them quickly because I want my goddamn house! Especially now. This house is so so so so cold! OMG!! I have no idea how we are going to stay warm this winter. I thought we were all going to wake up turned into icicles this morning. Yesterday and last night were freaky cold, and it’s going to get warmer the rest of the week so we have a little bit of time to figure this out, but DAMN it is cold in this house right now! I want to build a nice, warm, insulated, centrally heated house!
Alright, I need to get back to my translation project because I got very, very little done while I was in the hospital and a loooong way to go on it.