Money troubles…again (>.<)


To be honest, I’m not sure I really want to blog about this as it frustrates me beyond belief and just makes me sad in general. But the ultimate goal of keeping this blog is to let off some steam so that things don’t have to bother me so much.

My husband is many, many things, but money savvy he is not. Not an ounce of it in his body, not a drop, not a nano-drop. You get the picture. Unfortunately he is quite good at selling things on Yahoo Auction, and if he were money savvy, he could probably make us a nice little nest egg, but alas he is not, and here is where the problem lies. His friends who are not computer savvy ask him to sell stuff on Yahoo Auction quite often. He also gets asked by other people who he’s met online through selling things before. He has a reputation of sorts of being able to put buyers and sellers together, and make a small profit for himself. However once in awhile, and once is far too often if you ask me, something will happen, and he will be put in the position to front the money to the seller before the buyer comes through with the cash. Are the alarms going off yet?

My husband has no access to our savings, and of course, not being money savvy, has no savings of his own. So when the above mentioned situation comes up, he comes crying to me about needing money and promising left, right and center he will pay me back the next day, or sometime within the week, or whatever, but it’s always soon. More often than not, he pays me back later than he promised, whether it be by a few days, weeks or worst case scenario, months. In fact, his debt to the family savings as of yesterday was just over 300,000 yen. Half of that is sitting in his bank account, but he hasn’t had a chance to get to the bank this past week because of work (he does construction of sorts so he works at different sites all over the prefecture, this past week a particularly far and busy site). That’s all fine and good, but he promised that I would have half of that half January 4th, and the other half I was supposed to get 2 days after I loaned it to him. But something ALWAYS comes up! He can’t get to the bank or he has to pay this or that, so can I wait another day? or week?

He promised me that he would stop this nonsense at the end of last year and stop selling things for friends so that these types of situations would not come up anymore. The last time I loaned him money I told him it was the last, and that no matter how much he begged and pleaded, I wasn’t doing it again, and certainly not while he still had a huge debt to the family savings. And then yesterday happened.

He came home all upset and said he introduced a friend of his in Tokyo, with an item to sell, to someone he met through Yahoo Auction looking for that particular item. It was a piece of silver jewelry, a very expensive piece of jewelry in the shape of an eagle. So the buyer (who happens to live in Nagano, about an hour away from here) sent the seller the money, and the seller was supposed to send the buyer the item, however one of the eagles’ wings broke. So the seller offered to send the buyer his money back. The buyer refused and said that if he didn’t get the item by Sunday he was calling the police and claiming he had been scammed. WTF? Why is this my husband’s problem? And why won’t the buyer just take the fucking money back??!!

So the seller is willing to pay to buy a new eagle at a considerable loss, but the only one they can find is 370,000 yen at a second hand store online, and the only way they can get the eagle to the buyer by Sunday is to pay by credit card and have the online store deliver the item to our house Sunday morning, and Akinori will hand deliver it on Sunday. I guess it makes sense to not deliver it to the buyer directly as he can possibly claim it was never delivered even if it was. Anyway, the only person with a credit card is, you guessed it, me. By his own admission, handing a credit card to my husband in his own name is too dangerous, so he doesn’t have any. I told Akinori that if his friend in Tokyo transferred the funds to my account by noon today (Saturday) and sent a photo of the receipt saying he did so (since it wouldn’t show up in my account until Monday) that I would use my credit card. He said that his friend wouldn’t be able to get the funds together until Monday. So that rules out me helping. End of story, right? I only wish.

Since I refused to help, Akinori said that he would have to go to Tokyo after work today and blah, blah, blah. Whatever, his problem, he has to deal with it. Not happy about the situation either way, but not going to be swayed to help this time. He then wakes me at the crack of fucking dawn asking if there is any way at all I will change my mind. I told him no and to let me go back to sleep. This is then followed of promises to have the funds in my account on Monday, and if they aren’t there then he will drive to Tokyo on Monday and pick up the money himself. Loaning him cash is one thing, but I don’t want to be pissing around with my credit card. More begging and pleading. So I finally break down, but I told him that if I don’t get that money back on Monday I am going to city hall on Tuesday and filing for divorce, and I’m not kidding, and I’m telling all of you too, I am not kidding. I may be a swinging single at this time next week.

Usually I try not to pressure him too much about when he is going to return the funds he has previously borrowed because I know it stresses him out and he knows he has to return the money, and it just causes a fight. But I took this opportunity to give him as much shit as I possibly could about all the money he has borrowed. So basically he needs to cut his debt down to 100,000 yen by the end of the month, or we are, in no uncertain terms, getting a divorce February 1st (or sooner depending on what happens Monday).

So he tells me how relieved he feels and thanks me and showers me with kisses, which I am not in the mood to receive. It’s all bloody well and fine that he feels better, but I feel 370,000 times worse, so don’t expect me to rejoice until you show me the money.

Perhaps I am being a bit melodramatic, or too drastic, but if doesn’t think I am serious, or that there aren’t serious repercussions to his actions, he will just continue to be irresponsible with money. It’s how he was raised. His family is by no means wealthy, but as the oldest son of the oldest son of the oldest son of a family of Japanese craftsmen, with their old and revered traditions, he was raised as the golden boy, and his every whim catered to, and his every wish granted. This is the end of the line for me. I am not dealing with this type of bullshit anymore.

All I can say is we are in for a very tense weekend at the Kaneta household.


About Brenda in Nagano

Originally from Chicago, I knew I was destined to spend the rest of my life in Japan the moment I set foot in the country at the tender age of 16. However, I was quite intent on spending that rest of my life in a major city with a full on career, until my Japanese Prince Charming came trotting down from the mountains of Nagano to sweep me off my feet and whisk me away, turning my whole life plan on its head. Two months after moving to Nagano I gave birth to our little Princess Charming, so now I am officially a SAHM and teach a little belly dance on the side.

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