So I have two questions for the general population, well the general population with kids and living in Japan, preferably in an area that gets colder in winter. So maybe not the general population, but feel free to pipe in even if you don’t qualify with the above criteria.
Currently we co-sleep with Sara. Over the weekend we went to IKEA and bought her a lovely new toddler bed and set it up in her room for her to sleep on her own, something I would like to start ASAP as I would really like her to be sleeping on her own for awhile before Juniorette comes along and takes her place in our bed. Akinori understands this and is not opposed to having her finally leave our bed, thank god! because lord knows it took him long enough to get over his separation anxiety about this. However he has a problem with putting her in her own room because of the heating bill. We haven’t turned on the heat in our bedroom yet, but we will have to soon enough. If Sara sleeps in another room, we will have to turn on a heater in there too. Akinori is (for the first time ever!!) worried about how much our heating bill is going to escalate as a result, and he therefore wants to put her bed in our room, something I am completely against.
Maybe I sound callous and cold, but I didn’t want to be co-sleeping this long, to tell you the truth. It was easier to co-sleep while I was breastfeeding, but I haven’t been bfing for nearly a year now, and it is just plain uncomfortable for me as I get slowly pushed off the edge of the bed all night long because Sara wants to sleep on top of me, more or less, or with her face nuzzled into my back, or her feet on my stomach.
That is besides the point I guess. I don’t want to put her bed in our room because there is pretty much no room for it. We have a NEVER used crib in our room at the moment, which allows for approximately 15 cm of walking space on either side of our bed. He suggests taking that out, taking away ALL walking space on either side of our bed by pushing it up against a wall, and putting Sara’s bed next to it. Either way we are going to take the crib out as the cat is the only being to have used it in the 2 years that we’ve had it, though she seems to find it quite cozy and comfortable.
Anyway, my question is what do other people do? I know that not everyone with children in Japan co-sleeps and that people who live in colder regions, where using the heat at night is necessary have children who sleep in separate rooms (Heather, are you out there?). What do you do? Do you suck up the heating bill? Do your children sleep with you during the winter?
My suggestion is that we turn the heat on 30 minutes before Sara’s bedtime and put it on timer so that it shuts off an hour or two after she’s asleep. Make sure she has loads of blankets, and set the timer on the heater so that it starts up again an hour before she usually wakes in the morning. Is this unreasonable? Anyway, this topic caused a HUGE argument in the middle of IKEA on Saturday. Why does Akinori have to pipe up with his comments and ideas that piss me off at the most inappropriate times?
This one really is for the general population, with kids anyway.
Sara is at a stage where she throws things when she’s angry or when she gets overexcited. When she’s angry it’s easy to discipline her as she knows she’s doing something wrong because she’s doing it on purpose to express her anger. I can help her identify her own feelings that she’s angry and throwing is not how we deal with anger.
HOWEVER, when she gets overexcited she tends to get violent and think that it’s funny. Lately it’s pulling my hair and laughing hysterically. Sometimes it escalates to hitting me or throwing things at me. I tell her no and she laughs harder and comes back for more. I hold her hands firmly and tell her no and she laughs harder and comes back for more. I tried pulling her hair once to show her how much it hurt, and she laughed harder and came back for more. I yell “ouch!” or “itai!” and although that worked at first, now she laughs and comes back for more. I pretend, or sometimes I really cry, and although that also used to work, not anymore. She laughs and comes back for more. Lately I have taken to leaving the room and not letting her follow me. That seems to work, but it’s not always possible when we are away from home. She has also taken to kicking, which is fine when she’s kicking the floor or nothing at all, but she’ll position herself so that her legs reach me, and will kick at me, and anytime she gets anywhere near my stomach I have small panic attacks. I grab her legs and hold them, and tell her “no”. But she thinks it’s all a game, and no matter how stern I am, she laughs and laughs, and I just get more and more pissed off.
Besides pissing me off beyond belief when she does this, it really worries me when she has a book or some other object in her hand and chases the cat and swats at the cat, not just because this behavior is obviously unacceptable, but because the cat is not nearly as understanding as I am, and has sharp nails that can cause some serious damage to protect herself with.
How do I get her to understand and stop hitting and kicking when I say no, or chasing the cat? The cat gets obviously angry and hisses and swats, and Sara thinks this is all a joke. One day the cat is going to get fed up and lose her cool if I don’t first.
Thanks for the advise in advance!