Monthly Archives: December 2012

My 2012 – or what I remember of it

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January – Akinori and I decided it was time to seriously start thinking about making baby #3. Amelie celebrated her 1st birthday. And that’s about all I remember from January.

February – I gave up breastfeeding at the end of the month in an effort to bring my period back since it wasn’t returning on its own. That was heartbreaking and stressful and Akinori was so unsupportive at the beginning it was shocking. It took a massive argument, but he was back on board for day 2, and I got a night away in a hotel with extremely painful boobs.

March – Period came back! We got a phone call asking if we would like to be the subjects of a short TV documentary. Sara attended her last month of daycare. I attended the annual AFWJ convention in Shikoku, sans husband or kids and had a lovely weekend away.

April – Sara started kindergarten. We lost Akinori’s grandfather. He was sick with the flu which turned into pneumonia, went into the hospital and just as they were talking of releasing him, he passed. He was nearly 91 years old, and such a sweet man. The hardest part was seeing Akinori’s father and his great-uncle, Ojiichan’s younger brother, cry. In happier news for the month, Akinori turned 40! The camera crew (well, cameraman and director) followed us around for 2 weeks. Met up with a wonderful bunch of blogging women at the military base in Fussa and had a fantastic time. Found out I was pregnant! It helped me feel loads less guilty for pulling the boob away from Amelie so suddenly and obviously against her will.

May – I had my 37th birthday and on my birthday received the news that my pregnancy was not viable, requiring a D&C a few days later. Sad times. The TV documentary aired the day of the D & C, and originally at the end of the program we announced the pregnancy, but the director was kind enough to edit that part out for us at the very last minute. You can see the documentary here, if you haven’t had the pleasure yet.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1w6AR9Odx0

June – Sara and Amelie got their first ever, and so far last modeling job. And that is about all that stands out in June for me. I had to go and check my Facebook timeline to even find that little bit of news.

July – Nothing. I had two belly dance performances. The year didn’t get really exciting until the latter part anyway.

August – I took the girls to Kyushu for a week which was lovely. I got to see some lovely blogging/Facebook/AFWJ friends, didn’t have to cook, clean or even take care of my own children for an entire week. Bliss! The train ride back from Kyushu was a nightmare however, and I was sad to be brought back so abruptly to reality. The day after getting back (?) I did an HPT and found out I was once again pregnant. It was the first cycle after my D&C so I was quite surprised at how quickly we got pregnant again and I was really, really nervous and scared about it. A day or two after I found out, and before I was able to get to the dr. I had to go away to interpret at Summer Sonic. At least I was assigned to a really nice band and they were so easy to work with, but the morning sickness had already started and I was feeling tired and shitty the entire weekend. When I got back I went to the dr. who confirmed the pregnancy, but it was still too early to see a gestational sac, and so I spent the next week freaking out, until my next appointment when we did see a sac, and then I was freaking out a little less.

September – We got to see the baby’s heartbeat, and I was finally able to relax about the pregnancy, but mid-month Akinori dropped an enormous bomb on me about a huge financial fuck-up he made over a year ago and had been keeping secret from me. Our marriage hit an absolute low, and I found myself in a place I didn’t think I would ever see. September definitely goes down as one of the worst months of my entire life. I can think of a few lows in my life, and this past September is definitely on the worst (top?) 10 list. The whole affair was too awful to talk about or even write about on my blog. Frankly, it was a huge blow to our marriage, and being lied to and having your trust taken advantage of by someone you love, sucks. We’ve been able to move past it, but I wouldn’t say it has made our marriage stronger. It has just given me a better idea of what our marriage is able to endure, and perhaps how strong it was to begin with?

October – I went in to the OB/GYN for what was supposed to be my last appointment before switching over to the midwife clinic where I gave birth to Amelie when the doctor finds a second baby hiding out in my womb and I am switched to the big Red Cross hospital. I have never been more shocked in my life than when I received that news. Horrifically, my first thought was, “how on earth are we going to afford twins?”, but Akinori was thrilled. I spent most of the month of October freaking out. We decided to put Amelie in daycare full-time from January, and had a bit of difficulty finding a place, but finally managed. I had a really fun interpreting job that took me away for 4 days, so that turned out to be a really nice break from all of the madness at the time, and also a really nice source or unexpected income. I also started teaching two new belly dance classes at a culture school.

November – I lost my friend Chris to cancer. He was only 34 and far too young to die. He was such a beautiful soul and so many of my friends still have his photo as their own Facebook profile photos that it is often a shock to see his face pop up all over the place. I stumbled on a photo he commented on the other day and the comment made me smile, like so many of his comments did, but the thought that he won’t be making anymore made me sad  beyond words. I hope he is resting peacefully and painlessly and singing with the other angels, because he was an amazing singer and performer. I was also in a car accident with a taxi. No one was hurt, really, although our insurance company is still paying hospital bills for the poor driver’s pain and suffering. Poo! I am very careful now to avoid driving behind or in front of taxis.

December – Sara turned 4!!! I still cannot believe that! She is will always be my baby, which I have her saying now all the time too, but I am not prepared for her to get much older. I don’t know how I will face her 5th birthday. I have started to feel the babies moving around tons and tons and that has been really fun. I am trying to enjoy every minute of this pregnancy, knowing it is my last, but being pregnant with twins is hard. I am out of breath a lot. I need to lie down a lot.  I will have bursts of energy, but they end quickly. My tummy popped towards the beginning of the month and it just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Kind of crazy the growth from the beginning of the month to now. I am currently trying to decide what hospital is really the best option for me to give birth the way I want to, and I’m sure that saga will continue into the new year so stay tuned.

It has been one helluva year! The ups were way high up and the downs were way down low. One long, crazy roller coaster ride. I’m sure next year is going to have plenty more of the same, but hopefully the lows won’t be nearly as low and we’ll have lots more highs. I can’t believe at this time next year the 2 kidlets running around making noise, pulling out all the toys after I just cleaned them up, will be FOUR! We have survived though, and I’m sure we’ll survive next year too. Hopefully THRIVE through next year. There have been amazing people making appearances here and there and throughout everything letting me know I am not alone in this mess, no matter how lonesome it feels sometimes, and I don’t think I would have managed without them. Thank you! I won’t last through the next year without you either, so don’t go anywhere!

Wishing you and yours a very happy New Year and an amazing 2013!

Christmas 2012

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What an exciting 2 days this has been! Yesterday, Christmas eve, started out with me feeling sorry for myself that my husband had to work Saturday, part of Sunday and all of Monday, which was a national holiday, not just Christmas eve. I wasn’t just feeling sorry for myself because he had to work, but because Sara has had a nasty cough that won’t go away for 2 weeks or so, and Sunday evening Amelie started getting sick too, and her nose started running like a fountain yesterday morning. And both girls woke up in crappy moods, and off my husband went to work, and left me to deal with our less-than-pleasant children. Not to mention that he has planned to come home dressed as Santa to give the girls their Christmas presents, which is great and fun and all, but he’s nagging me for eyebrow pencils and all kinds of other random things while the girls are nagging me for breakfast. The morning passed without much more excitement, thank goodness.

Akinori came home for lunch. Amelie took a nap. Sara went into the kitchen to play with play-doh. I took a shower. Akinori went back to work. Amelie woke up in a coughing fit and came looking for me with vomit dribbling down her chin. Poor thing. I got Sara to clean up her play-doh while I cleaned Amelie and we got ready to leave the house because I had to pick up our Christmas cake from MIL who was at work. I put masks on both kids, bundled them up, and off we went. At one point Amelie starts calling me “Mama, mama, mama, mama”. When I got to a stop light I turned around to see what she wanted and she points to her chest “Gero” (puke). She had vomited all over herself from coughing so much. It was disgusting and there was nowhere to stop. Luckily MIL’s store wasn’t too far away, so I cleaned her up once we got there. Picked up the cake and some fake champagne MIL threw in the package and we headed back home. I park the car in front of the house and Sara starts with a coughing fit that ends with her vomiting, of course BEFORE I manage to get her out of the car. Neither of my children have EVER vomited in the car before, and they both decide to debut on the same car trip. Perfect. At least it was easy to convince them it was time to lay low and rest before anyone lost anymore stomach contents.

About 10 minutes after get home the doorbell rings and Sara starts screaming “Santa’s here!” which I’m sure the delivery man got a huge kick out of as he was waiting for me to open the door because I’m sure he could hear her screaming along with the rest of the neighborhood. It wasn’t the Santa Sara was expecting, but at that moment it finally felt like Christmas to me. Not because the package was full of awesome yummy goodies from my friend B, but because it reminded me that no matter how shit I feel about things sometimes, there are awesome people out there who do awesome things for others, just because they can, and sometimes they do awesome things for me. And I am blessed to know these people, and even more blessed to be on the receiving end of their kind acts. The girls were of course super excited to open the box, but definitely not as excited as I was, and every time I “oohed” or “aahed” at another amazing goodie I dug out, Sara was like “what’s that mommy? Is it something really good? It looks really good!” The best stuff is already hidden from everyone 🙂

Akinori came home dressed as Santa to surprise the girls. Sara didn’t cry, but she was a bit shy with him. She was thrilled to get her presents though. Amelie on the other hand wanted absolutely nothing to do with Santa and wouldn’t take his presents and screamed bloody murder when he picked her up to take a photo. She was happy to say goodbye though and even asked him for a high 5 as he was leaving, but when I tried to put the hat and scarf that he brought her on her or give her the stuffed animal he brought, once he left, she started crying again and wanted nothing to do with them. A few hours later and she was okay with the presents, but it took awhile. We had our usual Christmas eve Domino’s pizza feast and all went to bed early.

Last week we were so late waking up that I got Sara to kindy late 2 of the 4 days she went. That’s after 10 a.m.! Pretty pathetic even for a pregnant woman dragging an extra toddler around. I usually rely on Akinori to wake us all up, but lately he has become very unreliable, not getting out of bed until he is already late for work so he rushes about getting himself dressed and runs out of the house and I am left trying to wake myself up and deal with 2 cranky children and our mornings suck because of it. I decided I needed to set my alarm and get my own butt out of bed regardless of how bitter cold our house is in the morning. I was smart and set the alarm super early, knowing it would take me awhile to psyche myself up to actually get out of my nice, warm, electric blanket heated bed.

Today was Sara’s bento day and gymnastics class day, and my check-up at Nisseki. One of the fabulous moms I know at Sara’s kindy, offered to give me all kinds of baby stuff the minute she heard I was having twins. I was able to get a Baby Bjorn bouncer for fairly cheap when we were thinking about getting pregnant with #3 back in February or March, and when I found out we were having twins, of course I wanted another one, and this woman offered hers to me for free. She also offered their car seat and lots of boys clothing, if we were having boys. We had been trying to plan a day where I could go and pick the stuff up from her house and because she lives so close to Nisseki, she offered to look after Amelie for me while I had my appointment. My second Christmas angel!

I managed to get Sara to her gymnastics class almost on time, and then Amelie and I went to my fabulous kindy mom friend’s house. I thought Amelie might cry when I left, but she was surprisingly okay. I knew it would take forever at the hospital so when I packed Sara’s bento, I packed one for Amelie too. It always takes FOREVER to get a parking space at the hospital, so I left about 45 minutes before my appointment, and after waiting to park for 35 minutes, I got a space right at my appointment time. The parking situation there is just ridiculous!

While waiting for my name to be called, I ran into friends (a couple) who are also pregnant. This is their first baby and the wife was all set to give birth at the hospital where I had Sara, but she has a huge fibroid tumor and the small private hospital was worried about complications and sent her to Nisseki. She is now 36 weeks and HUGE! SHE looks like she’s pregnant with twins! But she’s only got one in there, and a huge fibroid tumor. She and her husband and I are all friends on Facebook and they know how unhappy I am with Nisseki and we were talking about our experiences there in comparison to the first hospital and she agreed that the other hospital was much better. She said she cried after her first appointment at Nisseki it was just so different and unwelcoming. I am sorry that she is having such a hard time of it too, but I am relieved to know it is not just me being oversensitive. It was nice to have them to talk to while waiting as well since I ended up spending about 3 hours at the hospital today, most of which was spent waiting!

The wait was worth it though. We finally found out the baby’s sexes!

boysSee the arrows pointing to the boy bits? Exciting stuff! While I knew they were boys, I thought I would keep my mouth shut about it until I knew for sure. I said to Akinori once I thought they were boys, but he said I said the same thing about Sara and didn’t believe me. But every time I have ever pictured the future with our babies, they were always boys, and I have had several dreams about having boys. As much fun as I thought it would have been to have 4 girls, and part of me is just a little disappointed that it’s not 2 more girls, I am pretty thrilled we are having boys.

I’m excited to have the chance to raise both boys and girls, and to keep up the Kaneta balancing act. Akinori and his 3 siblings are 2 boys and 2 girls. I am hugely relieved that I will not be pressured to get pregnant again to “try one more time” for a boy because I know Akinori really wants a boy, no matter what he may say. Mostly I am happy to be able to give my FIL grandsons from his first son. FIL is the oldest son of the oldest son of the family patriarch, and I know it is a big deal for him to have the family name, and hopefully family business carried on. Akinori and I have discussed before that we would not pressure any of our children to go into the family business. If they did it would be purely by their own decision only. Of course nothing says that Sara or Amelie couldn’t take over the family business either, if they wanted. But this is Japan, and the family business is hard manual labor, and in FIL’s mind having a boy means a greater possibility of keeping his legacy alive. My SIL was actually given 1,000,000 yen (about 10,000 USD) from her PIL when she gave birth to her first son. My ILs will not be doing that, nor do I want  them to, they do enough for us already, but when I heard that it really hit home exactly how much having a male heir means to some people. Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t think my ILs love or value Sara or Amelie any less than they would a grandson, but I think having a grandson has a different meaning to them. I’m just glad I will be able to give my FIL one.

Aside from seeing the sex, the ultrasound was completely uneventful. I thought it was supposed to be a detailed anatomy scan, and when I asked the tech said, “I looked as best I could and from what I could see today, there’s nothing wrong.” Hardly the reassuring scan I thought I was going to get. I did find out the babies’ weights, 501g and 527g, which is excellent and right on track for their age, and the difference is well within reasonable, which means they are not at risk at the moment for TTTS (where one twin gets all the blood and nutrients from the placenta and the other suffers for it). But the doctor once again went on about how I should prepare myself to be hospitalized from around 30 weeks. I had to talk to another midwife after I met with the doctor and I asked her again why it was necessary to be hospitalized if both the babies and myself are all healthy and her explanation was far from convincing. Twins are high risk and therefore at risk for premature labor. Which I get, but I don’t see why they can’t keep track of my progress on an outpatient basis if I am not showing any signs of going into premature labor, which I’m not. I know that can change at a moment’s notice, and if I NEED to be hospitalized, of course I will willingly submit, but if I don’t NEED to be in the hospital, I don’t see the point, or how being in the hospital helps. Plus, it’s a completely unnecessary expense!

So after my appointment I called the midwife clinic and once again asked the midwife if there wasn’t some way I could give birth there, but she said it was impossible, as I expected. I explained to her exactly how I felt about the hospital, and she said she could understand and agrees that changing hospitals would be a good idea, but  I would probably have to promise the hospital that if they decided I needed to be hospitalized for observation that I would go along with it. I told her that of course if I NEED to be hospitalized, I’m happy to go along with it, but Nisseki doesn’t care if I do or don’t need to be, they have their own agenda, and that’s all that matters. I’m not a person when I go there. I’m a body, with babies inside, and all bodies get the same treatment, regardless of any other circumstances.

She has to go to the hospital tomorrow with another one of her patients and said she would speak to the midwives there about me and see what they say and then she will call me later tomorrow. I felt so much better when I hung up the phone, like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. For the first time since finding out I’m having twins I actually feel like I have some control over the situation, like this birth may actually be just as exciting and happy and fulfilling as the first two, instead of being filled with a sense of dread at the thought of being separated from my family for no good reason, or forced into a c-section because it’s easier for the doctors. My fingers are crossed for some good news tomorrow!

Tomorrow is also the December birthday celebration at Sara’s kindy. They have a big birthday celebration once a month for all of the kids born that month and the parents are invited and they perform a little play and sing songs and each child gets up on stage and introduces themselves and what they want to be when they grow up and they practice for this every day for a week or two beforehand. I’ve heard it can be quite tearjerking. Considering the state of my hormones, I am putting extra tissue in my bag when I go tomorrow. Which means tomorrow is another big day. Must get some sleep!

Crossroads

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I have let my blog get away from me again. At first it was because there was so much going on, BIL’s wedding and other various events, and then it was just because I was feeling so sad and miserable about my hospital situation I didn’t even want to think about it anymore. Pregnancy wise things are good. I had an appointment nearly 2 weeks ago now and the babies were measuring right on target for 20 weeks, with only a 30 gram difference between the two. Good stuff! I wasn’t having too much pain or too many aches until recently. If I sit for awhile it can be quite painful to stand again and if I stand for too long my back can get really painful. My tummy is just growing so quickly I get a fright every time I look in a full-length mirror! Unfortunately Nisseki hasn’t measured my waist even once yet, so I have no idea how I compare right now with when I was pregnant with Sara or Amelie. I guess I could measure myself around, but I don’t know how to measure the length of my uterus.

I have another appointment at Nisseki on Tuesday, Christmas day, and after I see how that appointment goes, I am going to the midwife clinic where I gave birth to Amelie to have a talk with her about other options for where I can give birth. Every time I have an appointment at Nisseki I end up feeling like crap afterward. It was pretty hard for me to get excited about being pregnant with twins, and I’m still nervous about so much that can go wrong, although we’ve come pretty far and everything is looking good and each day means less to worry about, but 24 weeks is the magic number where the babies have a 50% chance of survival and after reading so many blogs written by twin moms I know that things can change at the drop of a hat. Things are going great now, but tomorrow that can suddenly change, and it’s scary.

At my last appointment there were a lot of things I was expecting to happen that didn’t. I was 20 weeks 5 days along. I thought they would ask me about my birth plan, or give me a blank birth plan for me to fill out, especially since they are so dead set on having me hospitalized between 28 and 32 weeks. I thought they would start measuring my waist and abdomen. There’s a place for that measurement in the mother-child book, and yet they haven’t measured me once yet. I thought they would tell me the genders, or at least have a look for me, and the ultrasound tech, when I asked about it said it was still too early and wouldn’t even look at their crotches. I asked her if they were measuring normal size for the number of weeks they are. She said “ask the doctor”. I asked their weights. She said “ask the doctor”. All the while she is doing measurements of their heads and bones and doing the calculations of these numbers, but won’t tell me the results. I get ultrasound photos at each appointment but at the hospital where I gave birth to Sara, or the midwife clinic, they always had sizes and estimated due dates based on weights and lengths and other informative numbers on them. These photos have nothing written on them except for the original due date I was given. When I went in after the car accident at 19 weeks, the doctor said I would get a detailed anatomy scan at my next appointment. That didn’t happen, and when I asked the doctor about it, even she was surprised the tech didn’t do it and said it would definitely happen next time. And every single time I have an internal exam to check my cervix length to make sure it hasn’t shortened, which I guess is a bigger worry with a twin pregnancy, but I wonder if every hospital does internals every. single. time. My doctor is a woman, and I’m really not all that fussed about the sex of my doctor, but my doctor is my doctor, and this last time during the internal, there was a male voice talking to my doctor as she was performing the exam. That really, really bothered me. I don’t care if the male voice was another OB/GYN. That’s not the point. Some man was looking at my hoo-ha! I kept telling myself while it was happening that it didn’t matter because he couldn’t see my face, but it did matter. It still bothers me. I haven’t even told Akinori about it because I know it would upset him too. I think he would be pretty upset to know that some man, possibly a doctor, but possibly not, was looking at his wife’s hoo-ha. And I am afraid that all of these above things are just the way a big, general hospital works, and although I am trying I can’t get used to the fact that this is where I will give birth.

If I was having my appendix taken out it would feel different I think. Every one goes to a big general hospital to have their appendix taken out. But I’m not sick. I’m having babies. I don’t want to be treated like someone with an illness and according to hospital policy. I want to be treated like an individual with thoughts and wishes for my own individual situation, and have my own needs understood. For example, if there is nothing wrong with me or the babies, I don’t want to be hospitalized from 28 weeks, or even 32 weeks just because it is hospital policy. I have two children at home, and even though I know their father is more than capable of looking after them on his own. I don’t want to be away from them for so long. As nice as it sounds sometimes, especially when they are driving me nuts with tantrums and fighting and complaints, I don’t want to be away from them for weeks, possibly months, if it’s not absolutely necessary. Why should I have to do that? Why does the hospital have to be so unbending on this? I am a person with my own set of personal circumstances. I am the one giving birth to these babies, not the doctor. I don’t really give a shit what the doctor wants, or what will make things easier for the doctor. I want to give birth at a place that understands this and is concerned about ME and my babies, and that is just not going to happen at a big, general hospital, at least not this one.

The problem is that Nisseki, as I believe I have mentioned before, has the largest NICU in the area. If I change hospitals and something goes wrong and the babies need to be in the NICU for an extended amount of time, it is quite possible I will be sent back to Nisseki with them, or I will be sent to the Children’s hospital, much further away. Right now though, I don’t think I would mind if it were the Children’s hospital. I’ve been talking to lots of other moms about their experiences at big hospitals lately, and I hear only good things about the Children’s hospital, and very, very few positive things about Nisseki. 😦 At my next appointment I will be having the detailed anatomy scan, I hope. If everything looks good and both babies are healthy, I have pretty much made up my mind that I want to change hospitals. If there is a problem with one or both of the babies, we’ll have to figure things out all over again, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, fingers are crossed that everything will be okay Tuesday.

Merry Christmas!

Sara and Amelie at BIL's wedding

Sara and Amelie at BIL’s wedding

22 week belly

22 week belly

Ooooh! I almost forgot. I performed last week at an event one of my friends/students planned (she was a friend first, student later). I never allow videos of myself belly dancing to be uploaded to an public sites, but how often do you see a big pregnant belly, belly dancing? So here are the links to my performance if you’re interested:

Drum solo:

Veil dance:

20 weeks

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I reached 20 weeks yesterday! That’s a major milestone in a twin pregnancy. It’s kind of like reaching the 2nd trimester in a singleton pregnancy. It’s easiest to lose a single baby before week 12, but until week 20 of a twin pregnancy, there’s a significant risk of losing one or both twins. The next milestone is 24 weeks, viability. And then 28 weeks when my tummy will be just as big as a 40 week single pregnant woman’s, and I will have to start fighting my doctor every single week to be allowed to stay out of the hospital.

I seemed to have *popped* over this last week as well. Here is the photo of my 20 week belly.20 weeks 1I get a little shock every time I walk past a mirror these days. It really just came out of nowhere, but considering the babies are growing at a normal rate right now, I have twice the amount of baby in me that a woman carrying one 20 week fetus has in her, and I’ve been told the growth is exponential from here. I was thinking last week that I might actually be able to teach belly dance through the end of January, but now I’m not so sure. I think if I’m lucky I may make it to mid-January, but I run out of breath really easily these days, and even carrying Amelie is getting more and more difficult. Carrying Sara has been out of the question for a few weeks now. I’m hoping both babies are head down next time I go in just so I don’t have be told once again about the need for a c-section if they aren’t, but from what I feel going on, on the inside I would say at least one of them is head up. We’ll see on Tuesday though! Fingers crossed we get to see their sexes too! There may only be a few more days left to cast your vote in my poll over there on the right.

Other stuff going on…Akinori’s brother is getting married this weekend. Sara is going to wear the dress that my flower girl wore at our wedding, and since I bought the dress then I knew exactly where to get the same dress in a different size for Amelie. I wasn’t too thrilled about the matchy-matchy thing, but Akinori wanted to do it, so I got them little headbands (that don’t match) and cardigans (that don’t match) and they are going to look so freaking cute it might send people into a sugar coma 😉 We did a dress rehearsal the other week when Amelie’s dress arrived, and they really do look adorable. All of the nieces and nephews (8 from both sides I think?) will be flower girls and boys, and BIL asked that Sara be the ring bearer, which she was excited about until she learned that her job was only to carry the rings, not wear them. We had to go out and buy her some plastic bling so that she would agree to carry BIL’s rings.

Good thing the wedding is now because if I were any further along in this pregnancy I would have to buy a new dress for the wedding, and it’s expensive enough as it is. As close family members I thought we might be expected to give 100,000 yen or something like that, which we really cannot afford, and SIL said she was giving 50,000, but MIL has asked all the siblings only to give 30,000 yen because she knows that none of us can actually afford to give any more than that, and 30,000 yen is actually stretching it, and she wants to enjoy the wedding rather than look at it as a money suck. Her and FIL and BIL’s fiancee’s parents have agreed to cover any costs that BIL can’t, so even if they don’t make back in gifts, all of the money they spend on the wedding, my PIL and the fiancee’s parents will cover those costs. I feel kind of bad, and I know giving gifts shouldn’t be about what you have or haven’t received in the past, but BIL didn’t get us anything for our wedding, which is fine because our wedding was in Hawaii and we asked that people not give us gifts, especially since they had to pay for travel costs. However my PIL paid for BIL’s airfare and hotel. He paid for nothing except what he wanted to spend his own money on in Hawaii. He never gave us anything when either of our children were born either. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining! I hate the whole gift giving and obligation that comes with it in Japan. It is a huge pain in the ass and exhausting! And I’m grateful BIL doesn’t feel like he has to jump through those kinds of hoops for us. I would feel bad if we didn’t give them anything, I just don’t feel like we have to give them more than we can afford.

Okay, I’m off with Amelie to get her a couple of vaccinations and then some for Sara when she gets back from kindy. Should be a fun afternoon!

I made a collage of the my belly shots from the last 5 weeks. It’s really interesting to see the change, or the lack thereof between the weeks. 16-20 weeks