I’m on a bit of a high today which is strange for me as of late, especially when you consider I actually have some work going on right now, and I am so not going to make my deadline if I keep procrastinating like this. Anyway, I am the first to admit when the doctor said I had twins in my belly I didn’t think it was great news. There were lots of different emotions going on, and not all of them related to fear and dread, some of them on the happy end of the spectrum, but there was also a lot of negativity going on inside. I’ve finally gotten used to the idea of having twins, but that impending feeling of doom has never really left. I mean when you really think about what being a parent to newborn twins entails (mostly the lack of sleep and constant feeding) and add two toddlers to that, it is really a fairly scary thought, and I bet most people reading this right now are thinking “thank god it’s not me!” and I wouldn’t blame you. Until today.
My little boys have been bouncing around in my belly pretty much non-stop the last few days, a thought that is scary in itself when you consider that it means they are not sleeping for long stretches at a time, and what this will mean when they come out into the world and I actually have to care for them and not just as their incubator. But I think because there are two of them and there is so much less space for them to move around I can feel their movements to clearly. With Sara and Amelie I didn’t start feeling body parts, or what I thought were body parts until late in the 3rd trimester. Today there was a little hard, round body part right next to my belly button. It may have been an elbow or a heel or a shoulder, but it was definitely a little, round, hard body part, and it was so cool to feel. And I could feel Right baby inching his way across and over my stomach. He was sort of transverse at my last appointment, but I’m willing to bet he will be even higher up when we see him on the next ultrasound.
I think the best thing about any pregnancy is feeling the baby move around inside, but this time feels way more special and pronounced and I wish everyone, mostly Akinori, had the chance to experience this because it is so unbelievably amazing. As it is you can see my stomach bounce and jiggle here and there, but I can’t wait until I’m a little further along and you can really, really see the babies move around in my tummy even from the outside. I wish I had words to describe how amazing this is, but all I can say is that it has given me some kind of strange faith that everything will be alright. Their wiggling and wobbling has already made me cry twice today, not because I was in pain, but because they are amazing! They’re not even born and they’re already amazing!