I had my 35 week appointment today. 35 weeks! 50% of twin pregnancies make it to 35 weeks, which means 50% don’t. We have done fabulously, me and my boys! My back is in horrific pain though. Ouch! I may have mentioned this before. It takes me a good 5-10 minutes to psyche myself up to get out of bed, and then another 5-10 minutes to actually get out of bed, and then I moan and groan my way down the stairs.
So today’s exam. At my last appointment, if you recall, was told that if the boys still had a large weight discrepancy, being hospitalized and watching it closely would be the best course of action, so I have been mentally preparing myself for hospitalization all week. But every time I actually picture my family driving me to the hospital and then saying goodbye to them as they leave my hospital room, I start crying. Being hospitalized with a newborn baby is one thing. Going into the hospital all on your own, when you’re perfectly healthy, aside from looking like a whale, is lonely. But if I’m honest, I’m tired, and I worry. This morning the boys were really quiet and I was so worried about whether or not they were okay even though I had a listen with the doppler last night and they were fine, and super genki and pushing around my tummy like mad. Every time I feel a cramp, mostly from constipation, I worry that it’s contractions starting. So when the midwife asked me how I’m doing I sighed and told her I am tired. That was all I could think to say really. She told me they were going to take a good look at the boys’ growth today and we’d go from there.
When I went in for the ultrasound I was a little worried because I, personally, have only gained 200g since my appointment last week, which is pretty much unheard of for me. But the boys themselves have gained about 201. for Baby A, putting him at 2401g, and 282 for Baby B, putting him at 2091g. It is so hard to get their measurements though as their legs are totally intertwined. Yes, both boys’ heads are still down! They’re such good boys! I’m glad that they will be nice, healthy sizes when they get here, but it also makes me nervous as I have delivered 2 babies who weighed about 3000g each before, and it hurt! I was hoping that maybe if the boys were a little smaller the whole process would be quicker and easier and less painful in general. Although both Sara and Amelie actually weighed about 500g less than their predicted weight when they came out. Of course that makes me nervous too. It would be awful if Baby B came out only weighing 1500g. That’s really tiny! The tech said their weights were really good though and so did the midwife I saw at the end of the appointment, the same one who said Baby B was really tiny before.
I then had an internal exam and STILL have about 37mm of cervix length, which is pretty fabulous! But the doctor then stuck his hand inside me (ouch!) and said that my cervix was actually getting pretty soft and he could fit one finger inside, which means I am slightly effaced? dilated? I don’t know which. But before he even examined me, the first words out of his mouth were “You must be getting tired by now. Don’t you think it’s time to check in?” So after the exam, when we sat down to talk, he said he thinks it’s time I check-in. He seems really nervous about me going into labor at home, or worse, somewhere even further from the hospital. He seems to think that once labor starts, it’s going to come on fast and furious. I spoke to my trusty midwife later this afternoon and told her what the doctor said and she said for a woman who’s given birth before, my situation regarding effacement, etc. is pretty normal, even if I were only carrying a singleton, but considering this is my 3rd birth, it probably will go pretty quickly. I so hope they are both right! So the doctor suggested Tuesday or Thursday of next week to check into the hospital. I said I would talk to my husband and let him know. And then I was done.
I had a seat in the lobby and called Akinori and cried. I knew it was coming, and part of me was actually relieved, but more of me was sad. There’s no reason to be sad. I know the boys and I have done such a good job. I should be so proud. And every other mother of twins who has given birth at Nisseki that I know is amazed that I am still not hospitalized. And there is a lot of stress at home. There is never-ending loads of laundry and annoying habits of messy husbands, and children who fight and scream and cackle and pull out all of the toys at once and leave me to put them all away. But I love them all dearly and being away from them, especially for a reason that is less than fun, will be lonely. Luckily my friend G also had an appointment at the hospital (different ward) at the same time and she came and met me in the lobby and we went to lunch together and I felt much better afterward.
The doctor said I could still go home for a night once in a while as long as I wasn’t in labor, and didn’t look like I was about to go into labor, so I will be able to attend Sara’s kindy picture day (class photos are of the kids and parents) on April 2nd, hopefully, provided the boys don’t show up before then. Sara is going to all-day care at the kindy over spring break, but next Tuesday and Wednesday are prep days for the teachers so there is no all-day care. However in the original information we were given about the day, it mentioned that if we were in desperate need of childcare, to please consult the kindergarten, so I did when I went to pick Sara up today. But there are no other kids who plan on attending those days, so I wasn’t hopeful they would take Sara. I told Akinori to ask at Amelie’s daycare if it would be okay when he went to pick her up, and luckily they said okay because I got a call from the kindy a few hours later that they definitely could not take her those two days. At least we have all the childcare logistics worked out now!
One more good thing about being hospitalized early, and still being allowed to come home now and again is that it will be sort of like a trial run for the real thing. Akinori will have to get all of the girls’ stuff ready completely and totally on his own, so he can try doing that for a few days, and then we can make adjustments and he can ask all his questions and stuff the next time I come home. Though I know what is going to happen. He is going to make his own rules and do things his own way and then try and school me about his way and how well it works when I come back. Hoooooo, deep breaths! I’m almost glad Japan is the sexist society that it is because it means everyone at the kindy and daycare will feel sorry for this poor *man* who has to take care of his two children on his own, so when Sara is missing her bento on a bento day, she’s got a great excuse and when Amelie runs out of diapers at daycare, of course her father just didn’t know he had to provide a steady supply.
Okay, I need to get to bed. I have been feeling nauseous and headachey all night and of course that makes me worry. I need these boys to stay put just a little while longer!